It’s ok to not enjoy pregnancy. 

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In light of Cheryl Tweedy speaking out publicly about hating being pregnant (which I think was very brave of her, as people can be so judgemental) I’ve decided to share my experience with my pregnancy. I really didn’t enjoy being pregnant, I really struggled with it this time around. It doesn’t mean I didn’t want my baby, or love her any less just because I didn’t enjoy the pregnancy experience! I remember the look on some people’s faces when I openly said I hated being pregnant and couldn’t wait for it to be over. It was a look of disgust, like I was being ungrateful, that there are so many people that wish they could be pregnant and I had the nerve to hate it. But the thing is I LOVE being a mum! I would have a million kids if I didn’t have to go through pregnancy each time. I was so incredibly grateful and blessed to be pregnant and to have fallen pregnant so quickly, and my heart aches for the woman who struggle to conceive.
I so wish I was one of these lucky woman who love pregnancy, who blossom and take it in their stride, but I’m not, and here is my experience.

So it was New Year’s Eve 2016, and first thing in the morning. I was standing staring at 3 pregnancy tests that all looked positive. Still I couldn’t quite believe it, so I made kris do a couple, his were obviously negative! But they were cheapy ones from Amazon, so to be sure I went to Sainsbury’s and bought a clear blue digital. Kris had to go to work, so when the result came back as “pregnant 1-2 weeks” I excitedly text him saying “f*** yeah we did it!” And send him a picture of the test.

My boobs had been sore since my period, so I had a feeling that I was pregnant, however still very surprised as we had only been trying for one month! We did not expect to get pregnant that quickly! Still we were over the moon, and super excited. I had to try and keep the news to myself all day, I really wanted to phone my mum and tell her, but we had a plan to surprise them together later that night.
I kept looking at the test all day, not quite believing it, waiting for kris to finish work. We were going out later that night too with friends for new year celebrations, so I spent some time getting ready for that. We went to my mum and dads house before we went out and presented them with a box, and inside that box was a baby grow and the positive pregnancy test! They seemed surprised and just as excited as we were! We phoned round almost all of our family as well to let them know! We were far too excited to keep it to ourself. All my friends found out later that night as I was totally sober at our New Years party! We were only about 10 days pregnant! I still can’t believe we found out so early on.

First Trimester 

Well with the first trimester came the morning sickness, more nausea than being physically sick, but it wouldn’t shift all day. For me though my worst symptom in the first trimester were the headaches. I’d have the most awful migraines that would last days, and nothing would really ease it. It also came with the anxiety, as at this stage you can’t feel the baby move, you don’t get to see the baby until the first scan at 12 weeks, however we caved and went for one at 6 weeks to make sure there was defiantly a baby in there! Was the tiniest little blob on the screen, but had a strong heart beat.

My energy levels were so low, and I just wanted to sleep all the time. I’d go to bed at 8pm and sleep until morning. We also decided at this stage to move house! Because we had fallen pregnant a lot quicker than we expected we weren’t really prepared, so we found somewhere bigger and moved. Our relationship was lucky to survive this, and my stress levels were through the roof. At this stage I was not enjoying my pregnancy at all, and was so looking forward to the second trimester, as I remember feeling better then in my first pregnancy.

Second Trimester

So then came the second trimester, I was looking forward to this stage so much, I think I expected to feel great again over night, but that defiantly wasn’t the case. My energy levels did pick up slightly, I managed to stay awake longer than 8pm, but then came the pain in my pelvis. It hurt when I walked, when I sat for long periods of time and when I stood… so pretty much all the time. Not to mention rolling over in bed! But that got worse as my pregnancy went on. I was diagnosed with Pelvic girdle pain, and booked into see a physio, not that it helped much at all. I was also really light headed and dizzy at this stage, and was signed of work for a couple of weeks. I didn’t want to risk the drive into work, it really wasn’t worth it. Unexpectedly a couple of weeks after this I found out that my job was under threat. The company I was working for had lost a major contract and we were meant to be TUPE’d over to the company that won it, however this wasn’t as straight forward as it should have been and I was in limbo for a good month, which added majorly to my stress and anxiety levels. Worrying about how I was going to afford to feed my 5 year old let alone another baby, luckily that was resolved early into my third trimester.

Third Trimester

I was happy to reach this stage, I was almost there, but I felt so big and uncomfortable. At 30 weeks I hadn’t felt my baby move all day, so this was my first trip to the hospital to be monitored, the baby was fine as a soon as the monitor was on she was jumping around crazy. That was the first trip of many. As the weeks went on in my third trimester, I had several episodes of contractions. I was admitted to hospital at 35 weeks for a few nights, and was given steroid injections as my baby kept threatening to come early. Turns out I had an irritable uterus and literally anything would set off contractions. For the last few weeks of pregnancy it continued like this. I was exhausted, my body was exhausted as I was having contractions almost every day, and some were very painful. I was pleased to be offered an induction at 39 weeks, after another episode of reduced movements. I accepted, all I wanted was for this pregnancy to be over, and to have my baby in my arms. After a long start to my induction, once my waters broke at 3cm, my baby was in my arms just 40 minutes labour! One look at her, and I realised it was all worth it!

Now don’t get me wrong I didn’t hate everything about my pregnancy, the feeling when you can finally feel the baby move, when Kris felt her kick for the first time. Bonding with my unborn baby through pregnancy yoga, seeing the little baby on the screen during the scans. Spending time picking out her name, and decorating the nursery. Wearing tight clothing and not feeling self-conscious lol. These were all things I LOVED about being pregnant.

53 thoughts on “It’s ok to not enjoy pregnancy. 

  1. I’m so glad you shared this!! Everyone thinks pregnancy is wonderful, and for some it is but for others it’s just painful and uncomfortable and sleepless…. We don’t hear about those enough, so people know the possible reality. Not too scare but to prepare.

  2. I don’t feel anyone has the right to judge you on your pregnancy. No two are ever the same therefore we are all going to have different reactions to the effects – and totally that has nothing to do with our loving our unborn. I had five myself and I can honestly say I never felt awesome with any of them, frankly I’m shocked anyone does!

  3. It has to be said! Being pregnant sucks. I felt so ungrateful saying that, especially after infertility and trying so hard to get pregnant. I love being a mom and I’m very glad I did it but I’m also really happy pregnancy is over!

    1. Thanks for your comment, it’s good to hear from someone who struggled with conceiving. Pregnancy can be really tough for some people, no matter how hard or long it took to get pregnant. It’s the end result that counts. Congratulations on your baby 😊

  4. I am with you. I don’t enjoy pregnancy, doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful though and doesn’t mean that I don’t realise how precious it is either! But it’s bloody hard. I’ve had two HG pregnancies where I was six from 3 weeks pregnant until the day I had both babies! Xx

  5. Ah I hated pregnancy all three times too! It’s so hard to open up about it to people because you are judged due to others not being able to have children. It’s hard, because it can cause huge issues if you have bad experiences with pregnancy and yet it’s all so taboo. Well done for opening up xx

    1. Thank you for your comment, and I’m sorry you had bad pregnancies each time too! It really is so taboo, but I think more people are starting to be more open about their experiences, which can only be a good thing x

  6. I have one being lucky enough to get pregnant the once so far so I cannot really compare. But my pregnancy was far from idyllic so I can understand some the the things that you have written. However my sister, on the other hand has been pregnant three times and had suffered badly each time.

  7. I really hated some parts of pregnancy: the indigestion, the anxiety, SPD, feeling like an elephant. But the feeling of growing a whole new person was incredible 🙂

    1. Pregnancy is amazing, when you really sit down and think about what your body is doing, it’s wonderful. I just really struggled with all the symptoms that came with it. Anxiety was defiantly the worst part. X

  8. Can totally relate with you. My second pregnancy was a nightmare and nothing worked. I didn’t enjoy it all. But like you said it doesn’t make us any less of a loving mom which I feel is much more important too. Thanks for sharing your journey x

  9. I hated my last pregnancy – little one is now 14 weeks . I was in so much pain , stomach hernia , SPD , sciatica , sickness you name it I had it . Definitely no more lol x

  10. Thanks for sharing this, I know so many people don’t enjoy pregnancy and feel guilty for admitting it but it’s a bloody hard time in our lives isn’t it?! I loved being pregnant both times but I can understand why some people don’t. My favourite part is definitely wearing tight clothes and not being self conscious though 😂 Xx

  11. I couldn’t stand being pregnant either and I’m not sure if I’ll ever have another baby. I’d like to but not sure I can face it at the moment.

  12. I hadn’t seen that Cheryl had said she didn’t like pregnancy. I do think it is more common that people think. There is so much going on physically and emotionally

    1. Aw there is nothing worse! Some people really don’t think sometimes. Like you don’t feel bad enough for not enjoying the pregnancy, you have people telling you how much you should enjoy it! So frustrating!

  13. I had a really awful experience the first time round. I was signed off work with severe dehydration as I couldn’t keep anything much down for the first 3 months and later in pregnancy I was in and out of hospital with suspected pre-eclampsia. Labour wasn’t great either and I ended up with forceps, ventouse, episiotomy… I still did it all again and I enjoyed it a lot more that time x

  14. This is a great post! Everyone makes pregnancy out to be so magical but some parts are downright miserable! But 40 minutes of labor?! That’s incredible!

    1. It was incredible but crazy painful. I was hoping for a nice relaxer labour, in the water with soothing music, but instead I barely got into the labour room and felt like my insides were getting torn out! Lol was so glad when it was over x

  15. You’re not alone momma! Both of my pregnancies were super uncomfortable for me even though I didn’t really have any major complications. I got so big with my second and I also had early contractions with her so I was so ready for her to come! I ended up being induced because I couldn’t take it anymore. Looking back now I wish I hadn’t been induced. I think it put too much stress on her as she had a lot of trouble during labor. I love my baby though.

  16. I can relate, I’ve posted similar posts on my blog. It’s so important to realize the realities… we hear so many people talking about how wonderful pregnancy is and it is beautiful but very difficult at the same time. We need to go into it with eyes wide open. Thanks for sharing!

  17. I can relate to feeling this way. Before I had my 3 full term babies, I lost several babies due to my short cervix and oddly shaped uterus. The doctors thought it was amazing that I could get pregnant so easily. By the time I was on my 4th pregnancy I could no longer be happy or excited. I didn’t allow myself to get “attached” to the babies. Pregnancy just wasn’t a good time for me. Yes, it was amazing but I couldn’t wait to move on from that part of my life.

    1. Thanks for your comment, I’m so sorry you lost several babies, that must have been truely awful. I’m not surprised you didn’t enjoy pregnancy. I’m so glad you were able to go and have 3 full term pregnancies x

  18. I’m so glad you wrote this! While I loved being pregnant, I know there are a LOT of people out there who don’t – each of my pregnancies came at a time of lots of unrelated upheaval in my life, so they were my touchstone to normalcy. But I do NOT miss all the morning sickness and complete exhaustion!

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