In light of Cheryl Tweedy speaking out publicly about hating being pregnant (which I think was very brave of her, as people can be so judgemental) I’ve decided to share my experience with my pregnancy. I really didn’t enjoy being pregnant, I really struggled with it this time around. It doesn’t mean I didn’t want my baby, or love her any less just because I didn’t enjoy the pregnancy experience! I remember the look on some people’s faces when I openly said I hated being pregnant and couldn’t wait for it to be over. It was a look of disgust, like I was being ungrateful, that there are so many people that wish they could be pregnant and I had the nerve to hate it. But the thing is I LOVE being a mum! I would have a million kids if I didn’t have to go through pregnancy each time. I was so incredibly grateful and blessed to be pregnant and to have fallen pregnant so quickly, and my heart aches for the woman who struggle to conceive.
I so wish I was one of these lucky woman who love pregnancy, who blossom and take it in their stride, but I’m not, and here is my experience.
So it was New Year’s Eve 2016, and first thing in the morning. I was standing staring at 3 pregnancy tests that all looked positive. Still I couldn’t quite believe it, so I made kris do a couple, his were obviously negative! But they were cheapy ones from Amazon, so to be sure I went to Sainsbury’s and bought a clear blue digital. Kris had to go to work, so when the result came back as “pregnant 1-2 weeks” I excitedly text him saying “f*** yeah we did it!” And send him a picture of the test.
My boobs had been sore since my period, so I had a feeling that I was pregnant, however still very surprised as we had only been trying for one month! We did not expect to get pregnant that quickly! Still we were over the moon, and super excited. I had to try and keep the news to myself all day, I really wanted to phone my mum and tell her, but we had a plan to surprise them together later that night.
I kept looking at the test all day, not quite believing it, waiting for kris to finish work. We were going out later that night too with friends for new year celebrations, so I spent some time getting ready for that. We went to my mum and dads house before we went out and presented them with a box, and inside that box was a baby grow and the positive pregnancy test! They seemed surprised and just as excited as we were! We phoned round almost all of our family as well to let them know! We were far too excited to keep it to ourself. All my friends found out later that night as I was totally sober at our New Years party! We were only about 10 days pregnant! I still can’t believe we found out so early on.
Well with the first trimester came the morning sickness, more nausea than being physically sick, but it wouldn’t shift all day. For me though my worst symptom in the first trimester were the headaches. I’d have the most awful migraines that would last days, and nothing would really ease it. It also came with the anxiety, as at this stage you can’t feel the baby move, you don’t get to see the baby until the first scan at 12 weeks, however we caved and went for one at 6 weeks to make sure there was defiantly a baby in there! Was the tiniest little blob on the screen, but had a strong heart beat.
My energy levels were so low, and I just wanted to sleep all the time. I’d go to bed at 8pm and sleep until morning. We also decided at this stage to move house! Because we had fallen pregnant a lot quicker than we expected we weren’t really prepared, so we found somewhere bigger and moved. Our relationship was lucky to survive this, and my stress levels were through the roof. At this stage I was not enjoying my pregnancy at all, and was so looking forward to the second trimester, as I remember feeling better then in my first pregnancy.
So then came the second trimester, I was looking forward to this stage so much, I think I expected to feel great again over night, but that defiantly wasn’t the case. My energy levels did pick up slightly, I managed to stay awake longer than 8pm, but then came the pain in my pelvis. It hurt when I walked, when I sat for long periods of time and when I stood… so pretty much all the time. Not to mention rolling over in bed! But that got worse as my pregnancy went on. I was diagnosed with Pelvic girdle pain, and booked into see a physio, not that it helped much at all. I was also really light headed and dizzy at this stage, and was signed of work for a couple of weeks. I didn’t want to risk the drive into work, it really wasn’t worth it. Unexpectedly a couple of weeks after this I found out that my job was under threat. The company I was working for had lost a major contract and we were meant to be TUPE’d over to the company that won it, however this wasn’t as straight forward as it should have been and I was in limbo for a good month, which added majorly to my stress and anxiety levels. Worrying about how I was going to afford to feed my 5 year old let alone another baby, luckily that was resolved early into my third trimester.
I was happy to reach this stage, I was almost there, but I felt so big and uncomfortable. At 30 weeks I hadn’t felt my baby move all day, so this was my first trip to the hospital to be monitored, the baby was fine as a soon as the monitor was on she was jumping around crazy. That was the first trip of many. As the weeks went on in my third trimester, I had several episodes of contractions. I was admitted to hospital at 35 weeks for a few nights, and was given steroid injections as my baby kept threatening to come early. Turns out I had an irritable uterus and literally anything would set off contractions. For the last few weeks of pregnancy it continued like this. I was exhausted, my body was exhausted as I was having contractions almost every day, and some were very painful. I was pleased to be offered an induction at 39 weeks, after another episode of reduced movements. I accepted, all I wanted was for this pregnancy to be over, and to have my baby in my arms. After a long start to my induction, once my waters broke at 3cm, my baby was in my arms just 40 minutes labour! One look at her, and I realised it was all worth it!
Now don’t get me wrong I didn’t hate everything about my pregnancy, the feeling when you can finally feel the baby move, when Kris felt her kick for the first time. Bonding with my unborn baby through pregnancy yoga, seeing the little baby on the screen during the scans. Spending time picking out her name, and decorating the nursery. Wearing tight clothing and not feeling self-conscious lol. These were all things I LOVED about being pregnant.